Dear Person at the Wal-Mart Parking Lot

Dear person at the Wal-Mart parking lot,

What's your deal?

You stopped in the parking lot lane, and waited for me to load my car before I even reached it.

Didn't you notice five cars behind you waiting to leave? Didn't you notice the parking space about twenty feet further back you could have used instead of waiting on me?

There are always people like you in Wal-Mart parking lots! I can't stand it!

That's why I walked back into Wal-Mart after loading my car. I didn't need anything else. I just didn't want to reward your bad behavior.

Sincerely,
~Eric

Dear Internet

Dear Internet,

It's been a great ride, hasn't it? We had some good times. Remember "All Your Base"?

That's partly why I'm writing you, Internet. It used to just be you and me. We had all sorts of inside jokes that only you and me got. You were a haven for me from the outside world.

But now, everyone's on you, Internet! Everyone and their mother . . . everyone and my mother! Now it's just as embarrassing to be a geek on you as it is in real life!

It was a good run, Internet. Sorry it didn't last.

Best of luck,
~Eric