Trick-or-Treat

"Trick-or-Treat!" the neighborhood kids said in anxious expectation.

"Gadzooks! Tiny accursed fiends from beyond the grave threatening me with malicious tomfoolery!" cried Sir Gregory (knight from the past somehow now in the present day). He drew his sword, "Away foul hellion! I shall not fall prey to your subterfuge!"

The children scattered as Sir Gregory swung madly.

"No, Sir Gregory!" Timothy ran to the door. "They're just kids. Just give them candy."

Sir Gregory pondered, "So this 'candy' as you call it has exorcistical properties to drive the demons out of the youth? Quite marvelous inventions of the future!"

Timothy sighed.

~~~
Other adventures of Sir Gregory of Cornwall in the present-day

Where Ice Cream Really Comes From

"Gadzooks!" cried Sir Gregory of Cornwall, "What is this fantastic delight upon which I am partaking? It is as cold as a winter's night, and as sweet as honey fresh from the comb!"

"Ice cream," Timothy Walters explained.

"Nay, you speak normally."

"No. That's what it's called. Ice cream."

"Oh!" Sir Gregory marveled at the thought. "How are the eyes made so cold?"

"The what?"

"The cream of eyes. How are they chilled?" Sir Gregory took another bite and moaned with delight.

"There are no eyes! It's cream from cow's milk. ICE," Timothy paused, "CREAM."

Sir Gregory gagged, "A cow!? Disgusting!"

~~~
Other adventures of Sir Gregory of Cornwall in the present-day

Also Don't Ask Why He Can Speak Modern English

"'Tis just like riding a horse," Sir Gregory of Cornwall told himself as he stood atop the halfpipe, skateboard underfoot.

Timothy Walters, the poor man inexplicably linked with this Celtic knight that somehow was in present-day California, ran to stop Sir Gregory. That seemed to be all Timothy did nowadays.

But Timothy was too late. Sir Gregory disappeared from the top of the halfpipe, screaming. Timothy clenched his eyes shut but did not hear the inevitable sound of breaking bones.

"'Tis an invigorating sport," Sir Gregory said as he did an aerial 360.

Timothy felt he was trapped in a sitcom.

~~~
Other adventures of Sir Gregory of Cornwall in the present-day

Don't Ask Why He's in the Present

"Are you learning to cope with the future? We certainly have a lot of stuff that you didn't have," Timothy Walters said as he prepared breakfast for Sir Gregory of Cornwall.

"It is not as difficult as you might–What devilry is this?" Sir Gregory jumped as the toaster chimed. "The bread you placed into that contraption! It's transubstantiated!"

"Oh, that's a toaster."

Sir Gregory nibbled the toast, "Does it turn bread into this delicious substance by alchemy?"

"No, it just toasts it. We have computers and stuff, and you're just interested in a toaster?"

Sir Gregory was not listening, "Amazing!"