Glimmering Hope

Continued from "Super Sick" and "Is This the End for Lead Man?!"
~~~

Antony Chumbo grimaced as light from a newly opened shade poured into his eyes unannounced by a stranger.

"It's two in the afternoon," the stranger said, "Little late for a hangover."

"It's not what you think," Antony groaned.

"Oh, it is what I think," the stranger kicked the metal boot clamped to Chumbo's left leg. "Funny thing, the lead suit that keeps you alive is also slowly killing you. Who'd have thought?"

"How did you—?"

"It's my job to know. You should get that foot looked at."

"I have," Chumbo sighed, "Nothing works. I tried everything."

The stranger grinned. "Not everything."

~~~
More adventures of the Impregnable Lead Man

Crisis of Infinite Nerds

"Greetings!" a nebulous voice greets the bewildered superheroes. "I am Drenrepus of Θ-verse. My true form is inconceivable to your minds. I have taken a form you can comprehend!"

"I can't see you," Batboy says. Others murmur in agreement.

"What? Seriously? But you can hear me, right? How about now?"

"Now you're an adorable kitten," Lead Man says.

Drenrepus shrugs. "We highly evolved Θians have long been entertained by your heroic antics, but disputes have arisen as to who would win in a fight. So you will battle," Drenrepus narrows his eyes, "to the death!"

"SULK HORRIFIED BY CUTE KITTY CAT!"

To be continued!

~~~
More adventures of the St. Louis Superheroes!

Is This the End for Lead Man?!

Continued from "Super Sick."
~~~

"Give it to me straight, Doc," Antony Chumbo had been suffering from chronic headaches and stomach pains.

"It's lead poisoning," Doctor Salsa, medical practitioner to the superheroes, said.

"How can that be?!"

"Are you kidding me? You're Lead Man! You run around in a lead suit and you're surprised it's lead poisoning?"

Antony looked straight at Doctor Salsa, "Does this mean I'll have to stop being Lead Man?"

"If you don't you're going to end up like one of those other ill-fated superheroes: the Toxic Revenger, the Mercury Surfer, Asbestos-Boy . . ." Doctor Salsa trailed off, "Poor Asbestos-Boy. He never had a chance . . ."

~~~
More adventures of the Impregnable Lead Man

Super Sick

"Oh-hoh-hoh-hoh! Le French Stereotype strikes again!" Le French Stereotype announced after transmogrifying the entirety of St. Louis's food supply into frog legs and es cargo. "And there's no one who can stop moi!"

"Not so fast!" came a voice that echoed as if inside an empty soup can, and then a heavy metal fist collided with the side of Le French Stereotype's face.

Le French Stereotype was unfazed, "You are too late Lead Man! I have already—"

"Time out!"

"Time out? There is non time outs!"

"Time out! I don't feel so good." Lead Man's toppled over with a tremendous CLANG!

To be continued . . .

~~~
More adventures of the Impregnable Lead Man

Too Many Superheroes Spoil the Save

"Help!" cried a woman tied to an overhanging pole several stories above the streets of St. Louis.

"Fear not, citizen!" came a cry from the rooftop. "Batboy is here to rescue you."

Suddenly, Lead Man flew up to the victim. "Do you acquire my assistance?"

"Lead Man?" Batboy yelled down, "Don't you dare! This is my win!"

"SULK SAVE WOMAN!" yelled Sulk from the streets below.

"I have jet boots," said Lead Man, "I can just help her right now."

"Don't you dare," Batboy yelled, "I'll save her . . . as soon as I figure out how to get down there."

"SULK HELP!"

~~~
More adventures of the St. Louis Superheroes!

Past His Prime

"Greetings, Lead Man," the voice of Count Von Mürder crackled over the 1960's-era intercom system, "I congratulate you for finding my Mürder Cave–" the intercom hissed over the monologue.

Lead Man took the opportunity to examine his surroundings. Count Von Mürder apparently did not have a lot of success after the 70's. His lair was more a museum of antique supervillainy.

The intercom squealed and returned to audibility, "–never calls. My son legally changed his name to 'Von Maur;' told me 'Mürder' wasn't even actual German–"

Lead Man sighed. He was going to be here for a while.

~~~
More adventures of the Impregnable Lead Man

The Sulk's River of Tears -sketch-

One of Sad Sulk's super-moves: River of Tears. As seen in "Lead Man vs. The Incredible Sulk."

Lead Man vs. The Incredible Sulk

"Stop right there! You've devastated downtown with your whining!" declared Lead Man to the lumbering mass of blue-colored muscle.

"BUT SULK SAD!" The Incredible Sulk cried rivers of tears and pounded on a nearby building.

Lumbering toward the Sulk, Lead Man drew back his arm for a punch. However, he found himself caught in the river of tears causing his armor to rust. Lead Man creaked to a halt.

"FUNNY!" laughed the Sulk as he turned yellow to mirror his feelings.

"Look what you did to my suit you bi-polar brute!"

The Sulk frowned and turned red. "SMASH MEAN MAN!"

"Uh-oh."

~~~
More adventures of the Impregnable Lead Man

Enter Le French Stereotype

"Stop right there, Le French Stereotype," Lead Man's voice reverberated inside his helmet.

"Sacrebleu!" said a man in a beret and a striped shirt, "You will never stop me, Lead Man! It is too late! Oh-hoh-hoh!"

The two men stood poised on the roof of the Oldies 95 station.

"I have already coupled my 'French-ifying' Ray with le radio tower! Soon all the citizens of St. Louis shall become French wussies! Oh-hoh-hoh!"

"Not on my watch!" Lead Man let fly a fist, but was blocked by a stale piece of French bread.

"You see, I am just full of surprises, non?"

~~~
More adventures of the Impregnable Lead Man

Sketch of Le French Stereotype

The Impregnable Lead Man

Evil doers beware, for a new superhero protects the fair city of St. Louis.

Ordinary citizen and car mechanic, Antony Chumbo, was kidnapped by the mob and ordered to make them a really super-cool getaway car. While being held in a damp underground parking lot, Chumbo developed a severe case of a rare form of athlete's foot.

Using his skills as a car mechanic, Chumbo crafted for himself a suit of armor from miscellaneous car parts and power tools to stop the spread of the fungal outbreak, and teach those mobsters a lesson.

You can't stop the impregnable Lead Man!

~~~
And a special bonus sketch of Lead Man!