Humdrum Jury

Judge Nelson banged his gavel. "Is this trial boring you?" he asked the jury.

Half the jury was in various stages of falling asleep. None was paying attention to the trial.

Judge Nelson motioned to the bailiff who pressed a small button on the wall which immediately sent an electric shock through the jury box. They were paying attention now.

"I can't imagine why you're not interested. The defendant's name is Axe-Murderin' Max for goodness sake."

"It was a childhood nickname, not a confession!" cried Max to which the judge shrugged.

Half the jury returned to their various stages of sleep.

They'll Try to Slip Anything Past You

"This is a cozy little number. Two bedroom, two bath, nice location, convenient shopping nearby, haunted, large backyard," the realtor coughed as she said 'haunted.'

"What was that?" asked Mr. Hopewell.

"What was what?"

"That last thing you said."

"Large backyard?"

"No before that."

"Oh, that it's haaaaaauuuu-ndreds of square feet?" the realtor said with an unconvincing smile.

"You said it was haunted didn't you?" Mrs. Hopewell asked.

"Yes," the realtor sighed, "yes, it is."

Mr. Hopewell tapped his foot impatiently, "Who is it haunted by?"

The realtor looked away, "Axe-Murderin' Max. . ."

"Now apologize to Mrs. Hopewell."

"Sorry. . ."

"Now . . . how much?"