Murder!

"If it pleases the court," Robby stretched invisible suspenders with his thumbs, "I may not be some smooth-talkin' city lawyer, but I think I know a thing or two about the law."

"What are you doing, Mr. Firth?" the judge inquired.

"I intend to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that Mr. Holland was nowhere near the scene of the crime the night of the murder!"

"Murder? Mr. Firth, this is not a murder trial. This is traffic court and you were caught doing 47 in a 35."

"I plead insanity, your honor!"

"In this we are in total agreement."

Humdrum Jury

Judge Nelson banged his gavel. "Is this trial boring you?" he asked the jury.

Half the jury was in various stages of falling asleep. None was paying attention to the trial.

Judge Nelson motioned to the bailiff who pressed a small button on the wall which immediately sent an electric shock through the jury box. They were paying attention now.

"I can't imagine why you're not interested. The defendant's name is Axe-Murderin' Max for goodness sake."

"It was a childhood nickname, not a confession!" cried Max to which the judge shrugged.

Half the jury returned to their various stages of sleep.

Reasonable Doubt

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I am frankly embarrassed by my colleague, the prosecuting attorney. You must have proof beyond a reasonable doubt and he's failed to provide that. Forget the overwhelming 'evidence' that my client 'premeditated' the murder of twenty-seven people, the reports of him laughing gleefully as he committed his heinous acts unimaginable to humankind, and the watertight testimony of thirteen independent witnesses. Maybe it was all one big misunderstanding, huh? Maybe it was self defense when he slowly tortured that group of pacifistic Buddhist monks. I don't know. Do you know? That's reasonable doubt right there, buddy."

Wrongly Rendered

The judge received the verdict from the jury. He gave a sigh. What does that mean? Is it good or bad?

"Has the jury reached a verdict?"

"We have your honor."

"What say you?" Here it comes.

"We, the members of the jury, find the defendant guilty," a brief pause, "on all counts."

What? No!

"Mr. Landon, you are hereby sentenced–" No! "–to life in prison–" This can't be happening! "–without the possibility of parole."

"But I didn't do it!" The bailiffs carried me off in handcuffs. "I didn't do it! I'm innocent!"

I didn't do it…