Space Health Care

"Lovenstein's health care plan is a sham!" the voluptuous Babe-mo-Tron™ says to a crowd of spacebillies. "He wants Death Panels to determine life-or-death-or-some-state-inbetween-where-you-wish-for-death-but-it-will-never-come decisions instead of who should be making those decisions: the SHMOs!" The clip ends.

B'jnktl the news-alien continues his story, "Later, President Lovenstein had this to say."

"Nowhere will you find the term 'Death Panel.' We're calling for 'Life Panels' to simply determine if you are worthy of life. It's an important difference."

"And more confrontations erupt in Space Station Hall Meetings around federation," B'jnktl sets up the next clip.

"I was told to yell so I am!"

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Dontchaknow?

"We interrupt Jon and Zxrrgl Plus Eight Billion to bring you breaking news from the ice planet Roasth," B'jnktl the news-alien said, "Space-Governor and former vice presidential candidate Babe-mo-Tron™ has just announced a surprise resignation. We now go live to Roasth where the space-governor has just taken the podium."

"Hey, Roasth. I've decided to step down as space-governor cause bein' a lame space-duck just ain't cute, dontchaknow? Now the Spacestream Media will undoubtedly spin this as me not knowing what with what I'm saying goodbye!"

"Her builders should've installed more RAM while they were buffing out her sensuous curves," B'jnktl remarked.

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More Breaking News

B'jnktl the news-alien broke into programming, "Joke-candidate Jorgan Skithypot has rocketed ahead in the polls after news of his pick for vice president. We turn now to GNN political analyst ConventionalThinkingBot5000."

"Skithypot has had a tremendous 30 point jump after naming Babe-mo-Tron™ as his running mate. We polled new Skithypot supporters, and they all said they support Babe-mo-Tron™ because she has 'a great personality,' but when analyzed under a mind-reader-beam they all support her because she is quote: 'a total babe.'"

"Google-Bronx's vice president and Space-Nobel Peace Prize winner Theodore Franton just doesn't seem all that qualified now."

"Very true, B'jnktl."

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