Return to a Non-Awesome Timeline!?

Professor Brainly unveiled his latest invention, "With this we can pinpoint the divergence of timeline you created and return to our own time."

Carl Awesome tried desperately to wrap his mind around the concept.

"You just need to think fourth dimensionally!" Brainly exclaimed.

"So you're saying that we'd no longer be in a post-apocalyptic future where there are somehow dinosaurs along with modern stuff for me to hunt them with? Hence my name, Carl Awesome: Dinosaur Hunter."

"Precisely!"

"I see," said Carl, and then he proceeded to destroy the machine.

"But why, Carl?!" Brainly moaned.

"I'd have to change my name."

~~~
Other Carl Awesome: Dinosaur Hunter stories

Takin' Out Those Dangerous Herbivores!

My name is Carl Awesome. Long story short: I hunt dinosaurs.

I was rockin' out to some Led Zeppelin and I got so totally pumped! I just had to KILL something, you know what I mean?

So I just run out into the wild with Over the Hills and Far Away running through my head, and I run into this brachiosaurus. It gave me this look as it was chewing its cud, and I just wasn't going to take that! So I scaled its neck like a tree trunk and then snapped it.

Later that evening, we had Brachio-Burgers ala Awesome.

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Other Carl Awesome: Dinosaur Hunter stories

Awesome Girlfriend

I was out pile-driving stegosauruses for an extreme workout when I heard a scream from somewhere out in the former downtown area. I say "former" because dinosaurs destroyed it after I accidently changed the future.

Anyway, I jumped in my souped-up 1973 Dodge Charger and put pedal to the metal. I found a hot chick being attacked by a pack of velociraptors. I took them out. How? By being awesome.

"What's your name?" she asked.

"Carl Awesome: Dinosaur Hunter," I said.

"How appropriate."

"What's your name?" I asked.

"Amy Girlfriend."

"How appropriate."

And that's how I got a girlfriend. Awesome out.

~~~
Other Carl Awesome: Dinosaur Hunter stories

Awesome Story

I'm Carl Awesome. I used Professor Brainly's time machine to travel back to dinosaur times. Brainly warned me not to touch anything because it would disrupt the space-time continuum or something like that. I wasn't really paying attention. In retrospect I probably shouldn't have stepped on that primitive mammal . . . or sucker-punched that triceratops. What can I say, though? My name's Awesome. I have a reputation to keep.

So I return and find civilization's on the brink of collapse because now dinosaurs live in our time. Now I'm Carl Extreme Awesome: Dinosaur Hunter. Oh, did I mention my middle name is Extreme?