Death's Honeymoon Is Apparently Over

A phone rings.

"You know it's 3 a.m., right? What? I'll be right in."

"What was that, honey?"

"Some kid playing in traffic or something. Don't wait up for me."

"All you ever do is work nowadays. We never spend time together anymore."

"Look, Pesty. I'm Death. You knew that when you married me. It's not my fault these Americans can't teach their children not to kill themselves!"

"I don't think you try hard enough. I'm home all the time."

"You're Pestilence! Locusts work on what? A seven year cycle? I have a fulltime job!"

"I knew I should've married War!"