"What is the secret to success?" I asked the President of the United States.
"How did you get in here?" he asked.
"It's not important," I said, "but I need to know the secret to success, and any other wisdom you might be willing to bequeath to me."
"No," the president corrected me, "it is quite important. See, you're not supposed to be able to get into my bedroom at three in the morning."
"Look," I said fairly irritated, "I don't have time for your politically correct non-answers. I'm on a journey for enlightenment and—"
That's when Secret Service tased me.
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