"This 'Misery Index' that newspapers use does not accurately reflect how miserable I feel, and by extension how miserable everyone else should feel, because my feelings are the only one that is right."
"Wow, Bob, that was quite an elaborate sentence to set up what will undoubtedly lead to a somewhat funny yet ultimately unfulfilling conclusion. Just like 98% of these other stories."
"No fourth wall breaking! Anyway, Joe, as I was saying, this 'Misery Index' is wrong because I feel miserable all the time. In fact, I should make my own—"
"Oops, ran out of 101 words again! Sorry folks!"
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